Now that the Nationals set their roster and named Cristian Guzman their starting shortstop, Harper Gordek makes a pledge to hold off on criticism for a while. It's a pretty complicated pledge, and includes this:

If I read an article that I feel misrepresnts Cristian Guzman's current or past performance, and he is currently meeting the above requirements, I promise to attempt to respond to said misrepresentations without resorting to phrases that are less than factual. These phrases include, but are not limited to, "worst player ever", "punishment from God", and "doesn't deserve to be even a boil on the ass of Honus Wagner's festering corpse"

Personally, I'm waiting for Guzman to play so poorly that Harper gets to use that last phrase.