I had missed this Julian Tavarez quote:

Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez said then. “When you go to a club until 4 a.m. and [are] just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me, this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s four in the morning. Too much to drink. All the girls look hot. So the Nationals are Jennifer Lopez to me.”

He probably had one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.