It turns out that throwing a baseball really, really fast is a bad idea. I love the conclusion:
A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered “hit by pitch”, and would be eligible to advance to first base.
Haha the end is brilliant!
Hm, okay, maybe I should take a little off my .9C four-seam. Change speeds, maybe change planes too.
And D.J. Reyburn would still call it a strike.